i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
