chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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