Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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