We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you will always have a special place in my vag
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
