Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
