this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
