It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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