well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Fuck appropriateness.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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