It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
