Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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