Cold hands, warm shart.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
