Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i think my mom watched the whole time
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
