I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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