oh fat girl friday strikes again...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
