Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
