she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
