God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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