No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
