Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
