genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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