I'm so fucking centered right now
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
