we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
