at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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