Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
