I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
