I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
