im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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