I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm at about main and main street
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
