This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
