I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
