It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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