She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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