he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
