FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
