We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
