i need an iv and a liver transplant
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
