I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
