You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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