Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
