I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
