I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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