guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Its about making memories worth repressing
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize