i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
