Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
