"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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