Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
