Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize