ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
