I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
