I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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