I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
