Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
