Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
