I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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