How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
