you would pick up someone in the library
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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