So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you didnt know i had herpes?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
