You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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