..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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