There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
