A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
