i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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