Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize