Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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